


I'm Proud of You, I Love You

by SaintSunlight



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: S6 Spoilers, Spoilers, Team as Family, Voltron S7 Spoilers!, voltron season 6, voltron season 7
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-05-28 00:08:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15036323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaintSunlight/pseuds/SaintSunlight
Summary: Set after Season 6. (Spoilers Ahead!)Shiro tells the paladins something important.





	1. Shiro Loves His Family

**Author's Note:**

> All of my children deserve better. Hope you enjoy this!

Home. They were really going home.

Shiro sat on Black's paw and watched the other paladins, the princess, their guests and Coran move around the campfire, chatting and laughing together as they prepared the night's meal. They were stationed on a somewhat-empty planet for the time being, getting some well deserved rest and taking time to make sure they were headed in the right direction. They'd been able to get in contact with Matt, letting him know what was happening and where they were headed, with promises to check in when they could. But for now, they were taking a much needed break. They had tents set up off to one side of the clearing they'd landed in (Shiro thanked whatever higher power was out there that they had them) and Krolia and Keith had set up a firepit in the middle. Shiro closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. It felt strange to  _breathe_ after so long. He took another breath.

"Hey, Shiro!"

Shiro opened his eyes, turning to the sound of the call. Pidge was waving at him, beckoning him to the fire. He pushed himself up, making his way over to the group. Allura slid over on the log she was sitting on, and Shiro sat down. Coran handed him a makeshift tray, which he balanced on his lap. He was still trying to get the hang of having only one arm, but so far, it wasn't too bad.

"What are we having?"

"Keith wouldn't tell me what he hunted down, but it tastes like chicken, and there was a grain we found that's similar to earth rice, so I did what I could with it. I was able to save some of my sauce jars before we left, so hopefully, it isn't too bad!"

Everyone began eating, and a collective groan of approval rose up.

"This is amazing!" Lance cried. "Hunk, you've done it again!"

A chorus of agreements, and Hunk blush, scratching his neck. "Thanks guys."

Chatter continued, but Shiro just sat back and ate, letting the contentment wash over him. He made eye contact with Keith, who tilted his head slightly - a question. Was he okay? Shiro gave a small nod, and Keith went back to talking to his mother. He had some things on his mind he wanted to get out, but not at that moment. Right then, he just wanted to enjoy the peace.

After dinner, the dishes were gathered by Romelle, who went off to go wash them in a nearby river and collect some water, shooing Hunk away when he insisted on helping ("You cooked! Let me clean!") Krolia went off to do some exercises, the pet wolf following. Allura and Coran went to go look at maps. The paladins stayed around the fire. Now was his moment.

"Everyone, I need to talk to you."

Four pairs of eyes turned to Shiro. He stood and cleared his throat.

"I want to thank you. All of you."

"For what?" Pidge asked.

"For keeping it together while I was gone. Allura and Coran have been filling me on everything that I've missed, and I just want to let you know how proud I am of you all. You've shown a lot of maturity, courage, and strength in the face of everything that's happened. I know you didn't ask for this, but you stepped up when it mattered, and continue to fight for a better future every day."

Shiro turned to Hunk. "Hunk, I wasn't sure how well you'd hold up in the beginning, but any doubts I may have had have been effectively crushed. You've proven yourself many times over, and I'm immensely proud of how far you've come. Not only have you watched our backs during battle, you've also taken care of us out of it. I don't know where we'd be without your cooking to supplement food goo."

Everyone chuckled.

"Your engineering prowess has save us many times and I know it will continue to help, along with your friendliness and willingness to learn. Allura told me how you stepped up and got the Galra to work together to save the planet from the radiation belt when their shield was down. That was incredible. I'm actually sad I missed it, but I know there will be plenty of moments for you to lead in the future, and I can't wait to see you step up."

Hunk beamed.

Shiro turned to Pidge. "Pidge, I've had the pleasure of working with three Holts, and I have to say, you might just be my favorite. Don't tell your brother." Pidge fist pumped, cackling, and Shiro chuckled before he continued. "You've astounded me with your resilience and your intelligence. I know it was hard for you in the beginning, missing your brother and father and not knowing if they were okay, but you powered through and kept focus, even when it felt like your family was just out of reach. You had your moments where you were rash, but I don't fault you for them. I understand – you just wanted your family safe and whole again. I'm proud of you for not giving up – on your family, on your teammates, on our mission. Allura told me about how you copied the programming. I know you didn't want to use whatever you made to stop it, but I'm glad you thought far enough ahead to have it, just in case. This is a dangerous fight, and we need to be as prepared as possible, which you are. I'm proud of you for that, and I know your Dad and brother would be, too. I'm excited to see where else your genius takes us, especially you."

Pidge too, beamed at the praise. Shiro turned to Keith next.

"Keith, I always let you know how proud of you I am. You've always been a hot-headed person, but you always come through for us. I was concerned when you left to join the Blades, but you've done well. I know how scared you might have been when I disappeared, even more so when the imposter turned on you all. But you didn't give up, not when you knew we all needed you, and I'm incredibly grateful."

Keith gave a small, genuine smile, his eyes shiny. Finally, Shiro turned to Lance. The Blue Paladin's eyes were wide, and he looked nervous. Shiro smiled at him, and he relaxed a bit.

"Lance, there are some things I want to talk to you privately about, but I will say this: I am so, so proud of how much you've endured on this mission. Everyone's taken their fair share of beatings, but you… you've been hurt more than your fair share. Allura told me about the heavy hit you took in battle and... I need you to know that you're an important member of this team. You've been there when we needed you, eased the tension with jokes, been a listening ear when we've needed you. You matter. I don't know where we'd be without you. And I want you to know that I'm proud of the person you've become, and the leader I know you are when it counts. And if you ever need to talk, about anything… I'm here. I'll listen. I care about you as much as everyone else. Never forget that."

Tears pooled in Lance's eyes and ran down his cheeks. Lips quivering, he nodded.

"All of you," Shiro said, "are important. When I was in the Black Lion, I was afraid. Afraid I'd never see any of you again, afraid you wouldn't know how much I cared about you, how proud I am of you. I'm telling you this as a friend, not a leader. I don't know what will happen, when the universe is saved, and we're all free to do what we want. I don't know what you all with choose to do, but no matter what happens, I want you all to know that you're my family, and I love you." Shiro scrubbed a hand over his face, taking a shaky breath. "Sorry. I'm not sure where all of this came from, but it's been on my mind for a while, and I just needed to say it - oof!"

Shiro barely caught himself as Pidge attached themselves around his middle, sniffling. Lance came next, throwing his arms around Shiro and sobbing outright. Keith siddles up, silent tears running down his cheek as he hugged him. Finally Hunk, squeezing them all tight with loud, hiccuping sobs. Shiro let his own tears come, his body trembling.

"We love you too, Shiro." Pidge mumbled, and the others agreed.

"You're an amazing leader." Keith said.

"You see stuff in us that we don't always see in ourselves." said Hunk.

"We wouldn't be Voltron with you. You're important, too." Lance said, and it took all of Shiro's willpower not to fall to his knees and  _cry_. Slowly, the paladins peeled themselves off, wiping off their faces and smiling at each other. Romelle returned with the clean dishes and several full canteens. She paused when she saw them.

"Are you all alright?" she asked.

Shiro nodded. "We just had a nice talk, that's all. Got a little emotional."

She nodded, understanding passing over her face. "Family matters." She put the dishes down and went to join Krolia in her exercises. Suddenly, Pidge's eyes lit up.

"Hunk, Lance, Keith, I need your help with something. Shiro, we'll be right back." They took off, and Shiro watched them go, still smiling to himself. He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

It was Allura. "I'm sorry," she said, "I didn't mean to startle you. I overheard some of what you told the paladins. It was wonderful, Shiro, and it seemed like something they really needed to hear. And something you really needed to say."

Shiro nodded. "Being in the Black Lion… I really was scared that I'd never see any of you again. I just want everyone to know I care about them. That includes you and Coran as well. You're both amazing, the way you stepped up to help save the universe, even after all you've been through. Thank you, Princess."

Allura hugged him, and he hugged back. "You're welcome. And thank you, and the other paladins. For everything." she yawned, covering her mouth. "I think I will retire for the night. Coran is almost done mapping out our course. We should be back on our way in a day or two."

"Excellent. Good night, princess." Allura departed, and Shiro sat back down on the log, watching what little remained of the fire. The sun was setting, and he was starting to feel sleep tugging at him as well. Just as he stood up, Lance ran up to him.

"Hey, Shiro, are you heading to bed soon?"

"I was just thinking about it, actually."

"Great! Come with me." Lance turned and started walking, but Shiro grabbed his arm, pulling him back.

"Lance, wait." Shiro turned him around. Keeping his voice low, he said, "What I said earlier about talking to you privately… I wanted to tell you: It's not your fault."

Lance's face paled, expressioned pained.

"When I contacted you, in the astral plane, I did it because I knew you'd listen. The reason you couldn't hear me very well is because our connection isn't as strong as it should be, and I'm sorry about that. But it wasn't your fault. You did what you could. Please, don't blame yourself, okay?"

Lance pressed his lips together, turning his face away. "Okay."

"Allura told me what really happened. You  _died,_ Lance. How are you holding up? Have you talked to anyone about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about-"

" _Lance."_

Lance turned back to Shiro, eyebrows drawn in tight. "What is there to talk about Shiro? Allura saved me. I'm alive. That's it."

"That's not it, Lance… but I won't force you to talk about it if you don't want to. But I'm here, alright? I mean it. If you ever need to talk."

Lance hesitated, then nodded, quickly rubbing at his eyes. "Okay, okay, no more emotional stuff. Come on." He began dragging Shiro toward the tents. When they got there, instead of going toward the tent he shared with Romelle and Krolia, Lance tugged him toward the tent he shared with the other paladins. They ducked inside, and Shiro stopped short.

Five sleeping bags were arranged in the tent, four on the outside and one in the middle. Pidge, Hunk, and Keith sat on sleeping bags, looking up at him.

"We wanted to ask you last night, but you volunteered to share a tent with the others so fast we were afraid to. But we want you to stay in here with us tonight." Lance said. "Please?"

"We'd sleep better knowing you were nearby." Pidge mumbled, and the others nodded.

Shiro smiled, understanding. He went to the center sleeping bag, getting comfortable, and the others did as well.

Pidge yawned. "Good night guys. Love you."

"Love you, too." Lance murmured.

"Love you guys." Hunk said.

There was a small pause, and then, so quiet you almost couldn't hear it, Keith said, "I love you all, too."

Shiro reach out, briefly touching Keith's arm before snuggling deeper in his sleeping bag. "Good night, everyone. I love you, too."


	2. Shiro Talks To Hunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunk and Shiro have a private chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 4th to those who celebrate, and happy Wednesday to those who don't! I wanted to drop another chapter of this before I updated "Lie Here With Me" (which you should totally check out if you haven't.)

Shiro woke slowly, more relaxed than he'd been in a long time. Soft snores filled the tent, and he smiled to himself. Sitting up, he took stock of his surroundings. Lance and Keith were both sleeping peacefully on either side of him. Near his head, Pidge was curled in a ball, still sleeping as well. Near his feet, Hunk's sleeping bag was empty, though he could hear people moving around outside, soft voices talking. He got up, silently exiting the tent.

 

Hunk and Romelle were sitting by a small fire, talking quietly but animatedly about something he couldn't hear. They looked up when he approached, and Hunk grinned.

 

"Morning Shiro!" He said, and Romelle waved.

Shiro smiled, yawning. "Good morning, Hunk, Romelle."

"How did you sleep?"

"Really well. Thank you."

"Are you hungry, Shiro? I can make you something!" Romelle jumped up, but sat back down when Shiro shook his head.

"I think I'll wait for the others. Thank you, though."

 

Hunk pushed himself up, dusting off his hands. "I'm glad you're up, Shiro. I actually wanted to talk to you about something. Walk with me?" Shiro nodded, and the two began walking away from the camp. Hunk said nothing at first, only turned back every once in a while to make sure Shiro was still following. Finally, they stopped at a river, and Hunk sat down, motioning for Shiro to sit beside him.

 

“Pidge and I talked to Coran, and he said that it would be possible for us to stop by Olkarion to get some of their nature tech and build you a new arm. We’re not sure what kind of mechanics we’ll give it yet, though.”

 

“That’s great, Hunk! Thank you.” Shiro glanced down at his stub. “It’ll be nice to have two arms again. You never know how much you depend on it until it’s gone.”

 

Hunk chuckled, looking down at his own hands. “I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have both of my arms. Cooking is my life.”

 

“Hey, I’m sure you could still be a great cook. The greatest one-armed chef to ever live.”

 

Hunk laughed outright, and so did Shiro. When they calmed down, Hunk became serious.

 

“Hey, Shiro?”

“Yeah?”

“I want to thank you.”

“For?”

 

“For everything you said last night.” Hunk looked back at the river. “ For a long time, I always felt like I wasn’t… enough. I didn’t have a lot of friends as a kid, and I got made fun of a lot. The only thing I had was my family and my hobbies - engineering stuff and cooking. Things didn’t really get better once I got to the Garrison. I made friends with Lance, but I still hadn’t gotten use to flight, and I was pretty sure I was going to get kicked out. Iverson hated me, I could tell. When we became Paladins, I thought I was going to fail at that, too… but you changed my mind.”

 

Shiro opened his mouth, but Hunk held up a hand, turning to him.

 

“Being a Paladin is terrifying, and sometimes I still feel like my fear gets in everyone’s way. I make so many mistakes and say stupid stuff. But you never held that against me like every else did back at the Garrison. You always gave me advice and your leadership is so gentle that it makes me really want to do better. I never felt like I was enough for anyone or anything… but how bad can I be if the great Takashi Shirogane says otherwise?”

 

Shiro felt a lump form in his throat, but he swallowed it down. “Hunk, you're not great because I say you are. You're great because you're you! Even when things are tough, you stick it out - you made it to the Garrison, do you know how amazing that is? You became a Paladin of Voltron! All on your own. What I said yesterday was just me voicing everything that's already incredible about you. And don't even get me started on your cooking. Are you planning to open a restaurant of any kind? Please tell me if you do.”

 

Hunk laughed again. “I'll make sure to send you an invitation to the grand opening.”

 

“I'll be waiting.” Shiro put his human hand on Hunk’s shoulder. “Hunk, you’re an incredible person, and I know the future is bright for you. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” When Hunk nodded, Shiro put his arm down.

 

The two sat in silence for a while, just enjoying each other’s company. It suddenly hit Shiro how little time he spent in the company of the yellow Paladin. The only time he saw Hunk was during meals, or during missions. He made a silent promise to himself to try and talk to all of the paladins more. He turned to face Hunk.

 

“So, did you really lead the entire team in fixing the solar radiation shield?”

 

Hunk lit up, immediately jumping into the story. Halfway through, they heard Romelle calling for them, and they headed back. Hunk continued his story all the way, and Shiro listened intently, smiling the whole time.


	3. Shiro Talks to Pidge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm not really sure if this chapter is as strong as the last one. I try my best to accurately reflect how the character's might feel, but I also don't want this to be too sappy, or to have them constantly repeat themselves. But here it is, the next chapter. Please enjoy!

“Alright, paladins.” Allura said after breakfast. “Coran and I are almost done mapping out the fastest route to Earth with the least amount of stops, but we want to gather a few more things before we leave. There are a lot of plants here we can use for both food and trading. After we’ve properly stored everything we’ve collected, we can make our exit. Romelle has offered to help, so I want you to pair up and go a mile out in each direction. Your scanners can tell you if a plant is poisonous or not. While you are doing that, Krolia, Coran, and I will begin cleaning up the camp.”

 

Pidge, who was sitting next to Shiro, put a hand on his shoulder. “I call Shiro!”

 

The other paladins groaned and grumbled, but split off, Lance with Keith, and Hunk with Romelle. Pidge and Shiro headed out in a separate direction. Neither spoke, but Shiro could tell there was something Pidge wanted to say. He thought back to what Hunk said to him earlier that morning. Did all of the paladins feel that way, or just him? He really didn’t talk to the other’s much did he? The guilt was heavy on his shoulders. He really needed to spend more time with them.

 

“Shiro?”

 

The older paladin jumped, startled by Pidge’s voice. She didn’t seem to notice, and continued. “I actually kidnapped you for a reason,” she said. She stopped walking, and Shiro did, too. “I'm bad with feelings, so this is kind of a mess but… I wanted to thank you for everything you said about me last night. It meant a lot, coming from you. You're one of the best leaders I've ever seen. If you had been an instructor in the Garrison, Hunk, Lance, and I would have been passing with flying colors. I was selfish in the beginning. I shouldn't have been so ready to leave you guys behind, and I'm sorry. But I'm grateful that you never held it against me. And you made me realize that I need all of you as much as I needed Dad and Matt. You are my family now, and I want to do everything I can to protect you guys." Pidge's eyes filled with tears, but she quickly wiped them away. "Using that code from your arm was terrifying, and I wish I hadn’t had to use it, but I’m glad that I had it. Protecting everyone is one of my main priorities. I promise to continue doing everything I can to make it home, and to do my best as a paladin of Voltron. I'm honored that I get to fight on such a great team with the best leader in every galaxy." She smiled, eyes wet and bright.

 

Shiro thought he might cry himself, but he pushed it down. He couldn’t believe how much faith his team had in him, and how much they really listened to his words. How did they not know he was only telling them what they should have already known?

 

"And I promise to continue striving to be the leader you see me as. I'm just as honored to have worked with not one, but three Holts, especially the youngest and most gifted." His eyes softened. "I'm honored to know just what Katie Holt and Pidge Gunderson are made of. I can only hope to be as brave as them one day."

 

Pidge hugged him, and he returned it. When she let go, she chuckled to herself, wiping her eyes one more time. "Am I really your favorite?"

 

Shiro sighed, rolling his eyes, but he was still smiling. "Don't tell your brother I said that."

 

"Of course I'm telling him. I just won't tell him you confirmed it. I'll even pretend to be offended when you lie and say that you love us both equally."

 

Shiro laughed outright, holding his fist out for a fist bump. Pidge gave it to him, grinning brightly. “Come on!” she said, “we’ve got edible plants to find.” She took off running, and Shiro followed, wondering just how deeply his words had affected the rest of his team, and if he would ever really be the leader they thought he was.

 

He really, really hoped so.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to comment!


	4. Shiro Talks To Keith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently this chapter never got posted?? I'm so sorry guys, I know you've been waiting for an update and this should have gone up right after season 7 came out!  
> (Also it's apparent that this isn't canon compliant, but I'd like to remind everyone, just in case)

Shiro never expected Keith to come to him. They spoke often enough that praise from Shiro was a regular occurrence. Shiro tried his hardest not to play favorites, but knowing Keith the longest, he knew he had a tendency to praise the red paladin the most. Despite all of that, Keith approached him, just like Pidge and Hunk. By then, they had made it to Olkarion, and Pidge and Hunk had made him a basic arm to function with. It was clunkier than his Galra arm, but he was getting used to it. The attachment had been so anxiety-inducing that by the time it was over, he'd all but forgotten about his confession to the paladins.

He was sitting alone in one of the rooms the Olkari had provided for them when there was a knock on the door. "Come in!"

The door opened, and Keith entered, looking hesitant. His eyes widened at the sight of Shiro's arm, and he smiled a little. "They did a really good job."

"They did. It feels like a real arm. I really think the Garrison is missing out on some real genius."

Keith chuckled, sitting next to Shiro on the bed. Silence descended upon them for a moment, but it was comfortable. Shiro turned to look at Keith. He looked calm, but Shiro could tell by his posture that he had something he wanted to say. He nudged him, and Keith blinked, looking up at him.

"Tell me already. You're freaking me out."

Keith pursed his lips, then sighed, smiling again. "The team seems better now, doesn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Everyone seems happier, I think, and more ready to fight. I think you did that for them. When you told them all that stuff a while back." He paused. "I'm glad you said it. Even being the leader, you hold in a lot of stuff, and it was nice to hear how you felt."

Shiro smiled, slinging his arm over Keith's shoulder. "I wish I could say the same about you. I feel like I still don't know what's going on it your head, and we talk the most. Tell me something."

Keith looked to the ceiling for a second, then back at Shiro. "You were right. I was scared when you disappeared. I spent a lot of time looking for you, and the others were really worried about me. I almost did give up. It took awhile for me to own up to being the leader. I didn't think I could be as effective as you. I doubted myself a lot." At Shiro's frown, he shook his head. "I thought about you a lot. What you would say or do in certain situations. It was the thought of finding you again that kept me going. I wanted to make you proud, even though I wasn't sure if I would ever see you again."

Shiro pulled Keith into a tight hug, quieting him. Keith hugged him back. If there was one thing Shiro never took for granted, it was a hug from Keith. He trusted few people, and affection wasn't his forte, but Shiro could almost always count on a return hug from the red paladin. When they parted, Shiro keep his arm around Keith. He opened his mouth to say something, but Keith shook his head again.

"Don't say it. I know you're proud of me, and I don't doubt that as much as I used to. But I'm going to keep giving you something to be proud of, I promise you that." He stood up, offering his hand to Shiro. "Now come on. The others sent me to get you for dinner, and I'm starving."

Shiro chuckled, knowing that was all he was going to get from Keith for a while. Taking the offered hand, he let Keith pull him to his feet. They exited the room, heading out to the gathering they knew dinner would be. The Olkari were delighted to have Hunk with them to cook, and Hunk was equally as excited to learn new recipes with new ingredients. Every meal seemed to turn into a small party.

As they walked, Shiro thought about the paladins again. Three had approached, but he wasn't sure the fourth one would. Lately, it seemed Lance was avoiding him - he was probably concerned that Shiro would try to talk about his death with him. While Shiro did want to talk about it, he wasn't going to force the blue paladin to recount what it felt like. He knew all too well how scary it was. Shaking his head, he continued to follow Keith down to dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to comment! Only two more chapters!


	5. Shiro Talks To Lance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, every time I write an interaction between Lance and Shiro, it's always the longest chapter in the fic. In this case, I kinda filled in the blanks for scenes from S7, and I'm sorry if I didn't do a great job. I tried my best. Please enjoy this chapter, I know you guys waited a long time for it. Thank you for your patience!

Shiro had all but forgotten his speech by the time the lions fell from the sky.

 

He'd gone through a lot in his time in space, but nothing scared him more than not knowing if the Paladins and princess (who, let's face it, was as a much a paladin as the others) were alive. At first, the world stood still in shock. The enemy was gone, but the Lions were down. Shiro looked toward Coran, whose face was unnaturally pale. He isn't sure who moves first, only that the next thing he knew, he, Coran, and several Garrison personnel were splitting up to find the Paladins. Shiro's mind raced as his group headed for the black lion. Briefly, he felt bad - it seemed that no matter what, he was always partial to Keith. But in that moment, it didn't matter. He would get to the other paladins as soon as he could.

 

He's not sure what happened after that. He only vaguely remembered seeing Keith, unconscious in the seat of the black lion, before the Garrison personnel descend on him. The next time he was aware of his surroundings, he and Coran were sitting in a small lounge, silent and afraid. He vaguely remembered them transporting Keith to the Garrison hospital wing, being told to wait for news, and finding Coran. They hadn't spoken any words to each other, only sat and waited. At some point, they were joined by the families of the other paladins. He shared a brief word with Sam, but everyone was otherwise silent, even Lance's niece and nephew.

 

Shiro looked at the older Altean man then, heart clenching at just how TIRED he suddenly looked. It was then he realized just how much Coran had gone through. The annihilation of his entire race; a war he never asked for; the loss of the castle, something his own grandfather had proudly built and taught him to maintain... he'd been through so much, Shiro was fairly certain losing Allura would kill him.

 

Before he could think about it, he got up from his seat and moved to sit beside him. Coran looked up when he felt Shiro's presence. Shiro sighed.

 

"They'll be okay, Coran. The paladins... they're strong. I know it seems bad now, but I have a lot of faith in them. They'll come out of this okay."

 

Coran didn't answer for a moment, just stared at Shiro with unfocused eyes. Finally, he sighed heavily, dropping his head into his hands. "I don't know what I'll do if I lose her." he croaked, voice muffled. "She's like a niece to me, Shiro, almost a daughter. If I lose her, I won't.... I don't think I'll..." There was a soft sniffle, and Shiro put a hand on Coran's shoulder, saying nothing as the man wept softly.

 

* * *

 

To say the families were relieved when they finally got word on the paladins' conditions is an understatement. They were bruised, banged up, and most likely concussed, but the doctors were fairly certain that they would live. The families wasted no time in going to their kids, but Shiro hung back. He wasn’t sure why - he was dying to see them, all of them - but something held him back. So instead, he headed back to his bunk and slept.

 

They asked him to give a speech. He didn’t want to, but he also couldn’t bring himself to decline. The men and women who lost their lives to fight deserved to be acknowledged. The paladins were unable to attend, still bedridden from the fight, but he thinks of them as he speaks. He thought of Adam. He thought of all the friends he’d lost. He thought of Altea, a planet he never saw but is saddened is gone. For a moment, he even thought of Lotor, or the person Lotor could have been.

 

When it was over, he was tired, a soul deep kind of tired. He still had not visited the paladins, and he knew he needed to, but he decided to wait - after everything they’d been through, they deserved some time with their families. So once again, he went back to his bunk.

 

He went later that evening.

 

It’s the very end of visiting hours, and Shiro was thankful that no one else seemed to be around. He raised a hand and knocked on the door.

 

“Come in.”

 

The door slid open, and Shiro stepped in, pausing. From the bed, Lance stared at him like he was a ghost. Shiro walked over to the chair, sitting down.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hi.” Lance’s eyes were still wide. “I didn’t think we’ve ever get to see you. They said you were okay but… you never came by.”

 

Shiro scratched the back of his head. “I thought you all might want some time with your families. It’s been a while since you’ve seen them, right?”

 

Lance nodded, relaxing marginally. They descended into awkward silence for a moment, before Lance spoke again. “Is it too late to talk about it?”

 

“About what?”

 

“About… dying?”

 

Shiro felt the air leave his lungs. Lance stared down at the blanket he gripped in his hands. “I… I was really scared, out there.” he murmured. “Red wouldn’t come to me, and Veronica was hurt. I thought we were both going to die. When we took that last hit, I thought we were going to die then, too. And I just - I can’t-” Lance’s grip on the blanket tightened, and his eyes squeezed shut. Shiro leaned over, pulling the younger boy into a hug. Lance hugged him back tightly, sniffling into the fabric of the older man's shirt.

 

“I hate it. I hate knowing what dying feels like, Shiro. I can't take it. How do you deal with it?” He sobbed.

 

Shiro rubbed Lance’s back. “There’s no one way to cope with that knowledge, Lance. I’m so sorry. All I can do is be here for you when it gets to you.”

 

Lance didn’t respond, just sobbed into Shiro’s shirt, and Shiro held him, rubbing soothing circles into his back. He didn’t care how long it took; he was going to be there for Lance.

 

At some point, Lance got his tears under control, sitting up. Shiro grabbed a tissue rom the box on the side table, handing it to him. Lance wiped his eyes and blew his nose, tossing the tissues before smiling weakly. “Thanks.”

 

“Always.” Shiro murmured. They were quiet again for a moment.

 

“Shiro?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“How did you… When you came back to your body, how did  _ you  _ come to terms with it? How were you able to become a leader again after what happened?”

 

Shiro rubbed his chin as he thought of what to say. Had he even really come to terms with it? Dying had been a disorienting experience, even more so when he’d come back. Finally, he shrugged.

 

“I don’t think I did, if I’m being honest. When I first came back, I was just trying to get used to being alive again; then I was distracted by the war. I’ve never really had time to think about it, but I think if I did, I wouldn’t. I don’t like to linger on things I can’t change.” He put his hand on Lance’s shoulder. “Everyone copes differently. I can’t tell you how to make it better. I can only be here for you while you figure it out.”

 

Lance considered his words, and then nodded. “Thank you. Can I tell you one more thing?”

 

“Of course.”

 

Lance sat up straight. “When I thought we were going to die, the last thought I had was you saying you were proud of me.”

 

Shiro’s eyes widened, immediately filling with tears. Lance’s gaze was steady. “For a long time, I felt really unneeded on the team. Especially after all the times I managed to mess up. It seemed like for every one thing I did right, I did six things wrong. For a while, I considered leaving Voltron. But I couldn’t. Even though I thought no one wanted me, and even though I was terrified, I wanted to fight. I wanted to help people. I didn’t believe it at the time, but before we took that last hit, I heard you, my parents, my sister… all of you telling me you were proud of me. And right then, I believed it. So thank you for saying it.”

 

Tears poured down Shiro’s cheek, and he reached forward, pulling Lance into another hug, nearly crushing him. Lance hugged him back.

 

“Please don’t ever,  _ ever  _ question your place on this team,  _ in this family.  _ And don’t thank me for what I said - I said it because it’s  _ true.  _ You’re so important to everything Voltron stands for, and I’m sorry you ever felt you weren’t. I’ll talk to the others about the way we’ve been treating you, too.”

 

“You don’t have to-”

 

“Yes, I do. I should have noticed that something was wrong not only as the leader of Voltron, but as your friend.I’m so sorry, Lance. You deserve better.” He let Lance go, and the younger paladin wiped his eyes. Shiro wiped his own.

 

With a sigh, Shiro stood. “I should go visit the others, but I’ll be back first thing tomorrow. Hopefully your family comes by - I want to brag about you a little.”

 

Lance’s eyes were wide and shiny. He nodded once, smiling, and Shiro bid him goodnight. Once the door was closed, he let out a breath, leaning against the wall. His exhaustion was creeping back up on him, but he shook it off. He could sleep after he visited all of the other paladins.

 

Shiro headed down the hall, heart still heavy, but lighter than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Don't forget to comment! The fic is almost over!

**Author's Note:**

> Some good feels to take the sting off the latest season. Please review if you can!


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